I'm having a time of it...

I sort of had visions of lying around watch the dust collect on our impressive collection of imported salts while K was away, but it's really not working out that way at all.

Like an ass, AN ASS I TELL YOU, I kept an appointment for my dentally challenged offspring for check ups. Which, as a single mother? wasn't really any fun.
Youngest (in full braces and in need of extensive oral surgery) might have a cavity, but it's in a tooth which may be extracted.
When will we know? Later! Do we fix it? We'll see!
And Middle's wisdom teeth, forming buds though they may be, are launching themselves right into impaction.
Of course K called me while the dentist was trying to explain all this to me. Which distracted me from both conversations.
He is in a somewhat seedy motel in a big crazy city attending meetings he is only half interested in being at. And while I greatly look forward to being in a seedy hotel in the very near future, I noticed that he sounded sad and lonely.

*************a device borrowed************************************

Have I mentioned that I don't like it when people play with their hair?
Not twirl their hair - that's not what I am talking about...I am talking about the woman who was simply entranced outside the pharmacy whilst her two year old climbed around inside her gigantic SUV -- entranced at the parking meter by her own split ends.
She stood there for a while picking at her hair strand by strand and then pulling apart a single split hair until she had reached her scalp with it.
Mesmerized she was.
I would have truly loved to smack her face and say:
Snap out of it.

***********again with the***********************************

Today I am going to finish the giant wardrobe switcheroo. A multi-hour process involving removing all warm clothing from the rooms of five people, throwing it in enormous piles in my room, dragging 6 large bins and countless garbage bags from the attic, sorting what fits and doesn't, making piles for charity and trash and then re-packing the attic with the winter stuff and putting away all the warm weather stuff in five people's rooms.

Side tasks are soaking clothing that is stained or yellowed, ironing, begging and pleading to have the boys try on their shorts, making notes about what must be replaced, and deliberating.

Yes. Deliberating.
Should I keep the two pairs of capris that I bought four years ago, cheaply I'm sure, which are too high waisted on me? Why?
How can I possibly have 12 outfits designated for sloppy outdoor work/gardening/painting when I really do very little of that?
When does one throw in the towel on the white gap favorite tee? When the entire shirt resembles the armpit color?
Those two black dresses? which are too short for me now? but were expensive? toss?
Can someone give me permission to trash the two target tankinis with matching skirts and just demand that I spend real money on a good bathing suit? (soft foam cups torture me)
Must I have 2 pairs of sensible 'funeral shoes' that I will never wear, probably even to a funeral?

There are two big black garbage bags in the attic now -
one is for 'relics' (very special occasion stuff which will never be worn but which cannot be donated)
and one for 'projects' (stuff I want to butcher and reconstruct).
This is progress as there were four.

********still more**************************************

I'm off now.
To clean the bathroom.
No one wants to return from a motel to find hair in their own shower.

Maybe I'll put a Sanitized For Your Protection strip across the toilet.


herhimnbryn said…
This post reminds me of our house at the moment. I think I have come up with another excuse for not throwing clothes out.............. I decide that I can cut them up to make a funky quilt/cushion/bag/dog blanket/table runner etc etc etc.
Anonymous said…
You know I'm dying to get into the "relics" and project bag in the attic. What treasures they must contain...

I always enjoyed when the husband went out of town if the trips were short. We ate shorthand food and were lazy.

Except when the MIL lived with us. That was weird. And lonely.
lazy cow said…
I love it when my husband goes away for the weekend. It's like a holiday (he's constantly underfoot during the day normally).

I give you permission to chuck out any piece of clothing you're questioning. Didn't you used to be a professional wardrobe consultant? Or is it like being a doctor and impossible to diagnose your own symptoms?
Anonymous said…
I would love to see inside the relics bag.
Antique Mommy said…
When you get done there, come to my house and work on our closets while we go to a seedy motel.I would pay for that.
Jennifer said…
Busy you are. Hope K comes home and can relax and enjoy his no longer lonliness :)

We do that whole switcheroo thing with the summer/ winter clothes. And this year. I have totally lost ALLLLLLL of Connor's shorts. He has ONE pair. The rest are a mystery. His birthday is coming up and I realllly hope everyone buys him shorts. Sigh.

Hugs on all the dental stuff.
--erica said…
Don't think twice just TOSS TOSS TOSS TOSS TOSS!!!!!
MsCellania said…
OY on the dental woes. Teething in your teens isn't any more fun than as a baby. And those wisdom teeth? We are evolving out of the need for them. BEGONE, worthless grinders!

I did the clothing switchout. Less painful when the kiddos are little, but I had the same sweat-running-down-the-nose during the work of it. And I have the same Stolen Shorts Syndrome that Jennifer is suffering. I hadn't thought to request shorts for the boys' birthdays, hmmmmmmmm? I hauled all of us to a sale a month ago and insisted we needed 'more shirts'! Which husband said 'I don't think so...' to which I snorted 'You? Do YOU dress the children?' Turns out he was right. We have dozens upon dozens of shirts now and 2 pair of shorts apiece. And iffy fitting, at that.

I'm sorry the salt gazing didn't work out. DARN! And you are a very nice person to clean the bathroom. Nothing says I Love You like a sanitized loo!
jak said…
Ok, you know what they say- if you haven't worn it in 6 months to a year- TOSS IT!- I say toss the capris, replace the tee-it should be crisp white and the two little black dresses-how short? just above the knee? I think you should hang on to them- they are classic and you look good in short-just above the knee length-your legs are GREAT!!!!

Us slugs here in CA wear pretty much the same clothes all year- we just need to add a sweater or jacket to our outfits-

oh, One more thing- get a nice swimsuit- you have a nice figure and a good suit makes a great difference- i like those "mircacle suits" that are sold at Norsrtoms and online-try it-you'll like it!

Heck of alot of advice and you didn't even ask, huh?
BabelBabe said…
you hereby have permission to get rid of the 2 dresses, and spend real money on a real bathing suit. Also, ditch the capris.

and you know as soon as you finish the warm-weather switch, it will snow. because that's what happened here. little flurries, but snow nonetheless. and the boys all want to wear their shorts. in the cold, rain/snow. and I am such a bad parent I finally gave up arguing and said, "Fine, they're YOUR cold legs." and let them. That'll show 'em! Ha! and if they complain, i willl smile self-righteously and say, "Hey, some children don't HAVE shorts to wear!"
ocbp said…
how come the font size changed?
Geggie said…
Yes! When in doubt, toss it! I've never regretted my huge donation piles. I'm sure I've forgotten countless peices of clothing. Remember, someone has to buy it at the thrift store!
Caro said…
I have trouble deciding too what to get rid of.

We are beginnning to look like one of those families on Clean Sweep.

My hubby is out of town this week too and sounding lonely like yours.

I could have used him today. I had a dr. appt. and both kids are sick so I had to cancel.

Hurry home hubbies!
Lauri said…
Never ever trash the favorite Gap tee!

I have recently designated Steven as the Official Parent to take Children to Dentist's Office.

Sanitary strip-excellent idea!

Best thing about living in Texas...we don't have to change out our wardrobes. Shorts and t-shirts and flip-flops are worn year round. For the 2 or 3 days of "Winter", where it is too cold to wear our regular clothes, just put on a pair of jeans and throw a sweater on over your t-shirt. There is usually no problem keeping your winter sweater wardrobe in your closet year round.

And the hair lady??? You've GOTTA check out the lady brushing her teeth I wrote about on my blog yesterday!!!
Susie Sunshine said…
I HATE the seasonal changing of the wardrobes.
I especially hate when everthing finally gets neatly packed away.... and the weather changes and the kids go digging through the storage bins and crap up everything.

Relic bags sound mysterious and romantic, the exact opposite of kid's dental work.
christa said…
sympathies to your dentally-challenged offspring. :-(

i'm a big fan of tossing clothing that's even minimally unloved or over-worn. as i've lost weight i RELISH getting rid of clothes that no longer suit me. if you have clothes that don't flatter you or make you seem less-than-fabulous... toss it.

we all deserve fabulousness.

a sentiment that makes me want to go out and buy more red shoes! ;-)
Lynne@Oberon said…
I give you permission to throw away all of the clothes you question! Fling them!
The ladies on What Not To Wear say you should clean your wardrobe of anything that does not flatter or make you feel good. Just toss 'em because you probably don't enjoy wearing them anyway. The highwaisted capris just have to go.
Maybe you can take the hems down on the black dresses or add something groovey to the bottom if they fit well everywhere else. And you could dye the white t-shirt to give it a second life.

Yucky about the teeth. Teeth are such a bad design - they hurt when you are babies, then they fall out, then they come back, then they proceed to rot in your head until you die.
Anonymous said…
Wow. You are an ambitious woman with the whole clothing switcheroo -- though, I can see with 3 children, ambition is less a desire and more of a necessity!
SuzanH said…
I'm avoiding the switcheroo. Luckily, in Michigan, I can go on avoiding this until the end of May. I hope.

Please, go buy a good bathing suit. I sucked it up and spent $70 on one (and this is a person who wore the same falling apart underwear for 2 years, so you see where I'd have difficulty with this) and I LOVE IT. Wear it all the time. And it feels GREAT.
Suse said…
I do the split ends hair thing, although I twirl them, so that evens it out, right?

And the too short dresses? Wear them with lightweight linen pants underneath.

My show and tell is up. Because IT IS THURSDAY HERE.

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