a true Tuvalan story

I was speaking with my MIL yesterday, she was telling me about K's nephew's first days of kindergarten (which, here in Tuvalu is attended at age 5, Irene) when I remembered one of the highlights of Middle's kindergarten year. And as you read this story I want you to bear in mind that Middle earned his Indian name as a tiny tot...and his Indian name is: Trips On Lint. And so, bearing this in mind, here is my story.

stamp
Actual Tuvalan stamp added purely for authenticity

Our elementary school is named for an early Tuvalan explorer, Edgeworth David. A large portrait of David hangs in the lobby of the school that each of my children has attended. One day, sometime in the beginning of Middle's kindergarten career, he was entrusted with bringing the daily attendance sheet from his classroom to the main office. And what he liked to do whilst carrying out this somber mission was see if he could maintain contact of some sort with the wall, all the way from Mrs. W's classroom to the basket wherein he deposited the attendance sheet each morning. He liked to walk with his head, or shoulder or finger lightly gliding along the wall the whole way, much in the same way that one would run a stick along a picket fence. And so, on this particular day, Middle was walking to the office, attendance slip in hand, when he, well, um, he walked directly into the rather large framed portrait in the lobby, from the side, and was knocked completely unconscious.

With my hand to god I tell you that this is true. He was carried to the nurse's office and she proceeded to call me. Unfortunately, she was laughing so hard that it took several attempts on her part to convey what had actually befallen young Middle. After she managed to hold it together long enough to describe how he was injured I went and got him. He spent the day on the couch, pukey and sleepy.

And so, that's basically it. When my MIL explained that little M had scraped his little knee, I pointed out that little Middle had been knocked unconscious.
Because I will not be outdone.



Dr Mark Hayes with the Prime Minister of Tuvalu
photograph of Dr. Mark Hayes with the Prime Minister of Tuvalu Maatia Toafa added for factual reference

And what does monday hold in store for me?
A trip to the lumber yard for some corner molding stuff.
A run through the thrift shop there to see if there is anything nifty and cheap.
A possible browse through my favorite store in the world for visual inspiration the beach souvenirs must be put away and the mantle re-propped.
Whole foods for a chicken for me to roast.
A 4:00 appointment with the pulmonary specialist for Youngest.

mantledark

shelf




goldenhourfirewood

Comments

L. said…
The font size change is really f'in with my head. Pls fix
jak said…
summer came and went way to fast- I say leave the beach theme up for awhile-it's still warm out. Poor little middle- I'M surprised you can get him to go into any museums after that! Hope all the Tuvaluan's have a nice week!
Suse said…
Oh is this some strange anthropological phenomenon, that you give yourselves native american indian names? Not Tuvalan names, such as Lounges with Palmfronds, or Decorates with Shellnecklace?

Do tell us the indian names of the rest of the family.

Oh, and your porn names too.
blackbird said…
Yes, hmmm...our Indian names do seem to be derived from America!
One of us is Running Dumbshit...I can't seem to remember any of the others just at the moment...a close family friend and his brother are
Stands With A Fork and
Runs For Seconds
blackbird said…
Yes, hmmm...our Indian names do seem to be derived from America!
One of us is Running Dumbshit...I can't seem to remember any of the others just at the moment...a close family friend and his brother are
Stands With A Fork and
Runs For Seconds
jo said…
Oh yah baby...I got a cord to stack myself. Unfortunately the blue stone for the patio, that hasn't happened yet because of the remodeling sucking up every waking hour, is leaning ON the firewood racks. Therefore one large project(bluestone moving) must commence before the second medium one(stacking)can take palce.
At least I have my favourite chimney sweep and his dog coming on the 30th to get me ready for that first, glorious, smelly, lovely fire of the season.