You are all so kind. Really.
It is comforting to see your words.
And to realize that for all the drama of it, the issues we face with Oldest are very common. And for this we are fortunate.
I went to the catholic church this morning to light a candle.
I do that sometimes -- my mother and grandmother were catholic and I learned to light candles from them.
As I pulled into the church parking lot I heard the pipes.
Bagpipes and honor guard and flags and sailors.
A large crowd of young people. The close of a funeral. Amazing Grace.
I was choking up when I spotted a friend of mine from town. My favorite Starbucks barrista actually. He waved at me and I went over to ask who had died.

C was the oldest son of a woman I am acquainted with. She is snappy, small and perky. Buzzing around in her little beetle, she has sparkly eyes and an infectious giggle. For many years we traveled in the same circles and commiserated over our oldests. Her Oldest finally joined the military. She breathed a sigh of relief but he was a worry to her for years. Her worry quickly faded to pride. He had found his way and was an incredible success.
Her Oldest was killed in a hit and run accident while crossing a street last week.
As was his girlfriend.
A man with a long history of mental disturbance and drug abuse killed them and fled.
And I had walked into his funeral without realizing.
The cemetery is a block from my home and I have just heard the 21 gun salute shatter the quiet of my house.

So now...
I will light a candle for the H's. And their Oldest.


Badger said…
Oh MAN. That is heartbreaking. I cannot imagine.

All good thoughts to Oldest. And you. And everyone.
Carol said…
At times like this - with the utter destruction and devastation happening in Louisiana and the rest of the Gulf Coast (soon TX) and Iraq, I wonder why?

Then you hear about something this close to home. Random - without purpose or meaning - then I get mad. "Why" seems too light. Too absurd. There is no "why" just is and that REALLY sucks.
Jan said…
How sad. Stories like this always put things in perspective for me. We worry and complain and think we have some measure of control over our lives, but really, when it comes down to it, we have *right now*. And how often we don't appreciate the moment.
Sad day. Take care.
Melissa said…
I'm so very very sorry for this loss.
It's interesting that you note for all the drama, it's common.....
I hit rock bottom during our troubles with S. when I realized that very thing. We were just one of thousands of families dealing with these issues. It became overwhelming.
Keep the faith that it will be OK.
More good thoughts coming to you.
jak said…
Big warm hug from me to you-I am so sorry for your friends loss and sadness-they where taken far to young!-i don't understand things like this- we must all give our precious childern and love ones extra kisses tonite. take care of yourself BB
Jennifer said…
Oh dear.

God sure does work in mysterious ways. As if you were meant to be there or something.

Hugs blackbird.
robiewankenobie said…
that life isn't fair thing? sucks. although fair probably wouldn't include the amount of grace i need to get through the day.

i hope everything gets better for you. and i'm so sorry to hear about this woman's son. so tragic. i would much prefer if we could live forever and love forever...
Loretta said…
BB, what a message of grace and survival you received - and all through the impulse to light a candle. Mayyou continue to be surrounded by white light and prayer and hope.
Suse said…
Oh, your H's and their Oldest are in my hearts too.

Puts our troubles into perspective, doesn't it?
Teri said…
As the wise writer of Ecclesiates said "Time and unforseen occurrence befall us all." Yet, when it does...would that that would not be so. Fortunately the promise of an all wise creator, a new earth, where there will be a resurrection to life, no more sickness, pain and best of all no more death can be a comfort if we look at the big picture. Alas, at times like that family has just experienced, the little picture is overwhelmingly stamped in their conscoiusness. We so need each others love and comfort in times like those. Your being there was not by chance.

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