I need a twelve step program

We all know who we are.
We all know what our problem is.
We say we are just going to "use" it for a week, maybe even only five days.
But the pleasure of it.
The head-rush from it.
The incredible clarity it gives us sucks us back in.
We are addicts.
And all the high-falootin (is that how you spell that?) homeopathic, smooth talkers can not dissuade us.
I am hooked now. As you read this.
And I will have to go cold turkey, but maybe...right after I finish this delicious sandwich that I wanna be able to taste. But no, maybe tomorrow afternoon so I can have a vanilla latte first, cause I hafta taste my vanilla latte cause I only get one a week. I thought I'd go off it thursday -- I could have gone off it thursday, but, woe! I was makin homemade macaroni and cheese friday night and it's really good and I couldn't possibly not taste THAT.
okay.
so.
I'll stop using it on monday.
really.


afrin
freakin Afrin...from hell's heart I stab at thee...

Comments

Jan said…
You aren't kidding. This all sounds very familiar.
Anonymous said…
what? next your gonna tell me I can't use q-tips in my ears!

b
blackbird said…
oh.
let's not go into
the
ear
sex.
Loretta said…
You and the father on King of Queens: Got the monkey on your back?
Badger said…
Dude. DUDE. Me too. I tried to go off it last night, but as soon as I put head to pillow, my sinuses filled with wet socks and I couldn't sleep. And so I went right back on the bottle.

Been on it for over a week now. I know it's wrong, but I NEED IT.
jak said…
Step away from the Afrin-that stuff is bad,bad,bad! Once you start-there is no end-run,run fast....

(But i have no idea what instead)
Joke said…
Hi, I'm Joke.
allHiiii...Joke.

I am a recovering Afrinoholic.

I used to go through the MENTHOL Afrin like it was water. It's been three months since I had any Afrin.

-Joke
Suse said…
High falutin.

A favourite of mine, along with hoi polloi.
Badger said…
They make Menthol Afrin?!

Uh...be right back. I have to run to the store to pick up some...er...bread. Or something.
Joke said…
If you go on Menthol Afrin, you will occasionally run into the dregs of the dregs of society, human debris wearing little beyond assorted bodily fluids and detritus, they will be scratching their needle tracks, they will fix you with a gaze from their sunken near-death eyes...and they will look down upon you.

-Joke
Poppy Buxom said…
What's Afrin?

(Don't hate me because I don't know. Feel free to hate me for other reasons, though.)

--P.
ModeratelyNeato said…
stumbled across this entry as i was searching for an afrin picture to make this exact same post! heh